I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
