CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
