I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
