She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize