And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
