Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
