Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
