should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
