There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize