people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
