a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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