Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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