There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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