This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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