I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
