Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize