remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
