this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
