Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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