My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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