If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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