she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
