Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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