I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
