i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
