AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
