i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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