Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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