your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
