Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
