this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
