Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
