I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
