just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
