so explain again why im purple
no
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
