I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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