just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
