a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
