Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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