Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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