ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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