Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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