Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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