Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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