Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
