one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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