haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
