Plan B is the new Plan A
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
