I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
