and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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