I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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