We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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