He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
17 year olds will be the death of me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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