As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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