The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
