i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
