I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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