your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
