just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize