i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
