Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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