david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
